Day 60: Interraciality, Part Two

A note: I know "interraciality" isn't a word.  I just don't like any words that ends with "--racism" so I've decided to use a made-up word to express the same concept.

Continuing from yesterday (well, really a few minutes back because I'm doing another batch posting today)'s point about the fact that Asian women and Caucasian men like to marry each other in America these days, Chris and I have discussed several important ramifications of this (we're not going into the sociological causes of this so-called phenomenon in this medium...perhaps another time in another place).

The major factors we have considered are:

1) Education of our potential children

2) Communication/relationship between his and my parents

3) Where to live/study/work abroad

I will devote this entry to factor #1 because it is, far and away, the most important aspect of our interracial union, and truth be told I've shed many an alligator tear in front of befuddled, poor Chris because I was so anxious about my imaginary children not knowing any Korean and hence, not being able to have imaginary conversations with my parents.

A quick Google search reveals that much of the discussions about parenting of biracial children are, and with good reason, focused on those born of the African-American and Caucasian unions.  There is a smattering of academic papers, but none appear to be too recent and they, too, deal with black-white biracial children.  

On a side note, I had a rather touching, bittersweet episode at a company dinner some years back when I visited a lavish mansion of a company executive for a pep rally dinner event.  The couple was white, as well as most of the guests, but there came running downstairs two adopted Chinese girls, aged 5 and 7. The older one immediately took a very strong interest in me, and continued to bring me her bilingual books half written in Chinese and the other half in English.  When I shook my head and told her I could not read Chinese because "I am not Chinese" she looked more than confused; she looked sad.  She didn't give up, but continued to bring me books. This made me happy and sad, because she was clearly going to live a very privileged life and two loving parents.  But it made me sad, because she was already cognizant of the fact that she was different from her parents and it was also clear that she was desirous of an adult figure who looked more like her.

Taking into consideration the surge of adopted children from Asia/China living in the United States, and the prevalence of Asian-White marriages, I think we are in great need of an interracial parenting/educational infrastructure.   I feel rather alone in this concern, probably because most of my friends in the same type of interracial marriages do not yet have children, and because Web is so devoid of targeted information/resources about this type of parenting.  

With or without external resources, however, I am determined to raise children who are cognizant AND proud of both cultures they embody in their genes.

To be continued...

Comments

[Bububooks.wordpress.com]

I understand your concern. I'm half Korean and half White. I've often struggled with identity because I'm not fully Korean nor am I fully White. Yet mixed people are often (subconsciously) pressured into picking one identity--perhaps the ethnicity they most closely resemble. But I think cultural identity stems from how the parents introduce this identity. My mother didn't teach us Korean, didn't cook much, etc. so our cultural exposure was predominated by the western culture we were surrounded by. I have a friend who is a quarter Japanese. His family maintained strong ties to Japanese culture. For instance, his mother (not Japanese) learned to cook Japanese food from her mother-in-law (full Japanese) and so he maintains strong ties to his Japanese identity. I think maintaining a cultural presence in your home will help children with their cultural identity. I think that's great that the little girl in your story had access to bilingual books--it seems her adoptive parents have acknowledged this need for cultural identity and are trying to create an environment in which their daughters can fully grow. Thanks for your musings!

Laura
bububooks

[100 Days to I Do]

Thanks for the comment, Laura. I think you are right on about a child's home upbringing being the biggest factor behind the formulation of a child's (multi)cultural identity. But at a certain point, perhaps everyone has to make a choice on how "Korean" vs. how "American" vs XYZ she wants to be, and as a parent, you have to let go at that point. Just at what point that is, I'll have to figure out as we go. :) I just hope that my child will feel that she or he had enough experience of both cultures to make a well informed choice, and enough sense of freedom and integrity to make the choice respectfully.